Much Thanks During Absence

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To my fellow friends in the WP Community, Id like to say thank you for your continued support of my site, Fictionista in my absence. My work is still being read and commented on despite the lack of new work. My writing with your support has resulted in flash fiction that has been published, encouraging me to write in any genre, as long as I write. However…

The joy of writing I’ve grown fond of has left me due to a family crisis. My father at age 90 years has become totally dependent on me. If I step back to July of 2020, he could drive locally, pick up medication, food shop, and work on small projects in his one family home. I moved in with him a few years ago to ensure the house was kept in order while working two jobs, both considered essential during Covid-19. I practiced what I preached by actively writing, reading and commenting on my work and other authors.

Things took a nose dove in November 2020, when a needed procedure left my dad hospitalized for two weeks. Upon his return home, he has become wheelchair bound and unable to return to a mostly independent life. I have no local family so the weight of cooking, cleaning, and managing bills has fallen on me. His severe hearing loss, congestive heart failure, enlarged prostrate, edema swelling of legs, ankles and feet, has drained me physically and emotionally while caring for him.

The good thing is I don’t have writing block. What’s bad is I’m unable to enjoy writing since my dads health needs went from weekly to hourly. The window of write time at home has been replaced with preparing the next days meals and meds before getting him in bed. Leaving for work without rest has been appealing. I have a friend that looks out while I’m gone but my dads needs are becoming too much for him.

Because dads health is declining, I’ve consulted with his doctor for Hospice care at home. He will receive a weekly visit from a certified nurse, given a nurse aid Monday through Friday (for 2 hours) and medical equipment. (bed, oxygen, and portable potty. A social worker is available to me if needed. I will bring up how my friend is helping. Maybe he can get financial compensation. The goal is to avoid a nursing home, since Covid-19 infection restricts visitation. He cant live stream or hear the phone. Our communication would be cut off completely. I learned that from his recent hospital stay.

The help I’m receiving takes some pressure off but I have no idea when I will resume my love of writing. I appreciate the authors that have checked on my wellbeing. It means a lot.

Thanks everyone.

  One thought on “Much Thanks During Absence”

  1. Shaily Agrawal
    June 23, 2021 at 10:18 am

    Hi Darnell, Long time, no see?

    Just wanted to let you know that I published my first short-story collection, The Forest Bed. The eBook is free on Kindle until 26 June 11.59 PDT. Could you please go through it and provide an honest review? Please please pleeeease…. Here are the details: https://fishinthetrees.home.blog/2021/06/23/the-forest-bed-free-ebook-2/

    Also, please help me spread the news before the offer gets over.

    Like

    Reply
    • Darnell Cureton
      June 23, 2021 at 11:24 am

      Congratulations! I am happy for you and I’d be honored to read your work. It has been a while. I hope to be back after settling my dad’s affairs. Have a great day Shaily!

      Like

      Reply
  2. Shrubaboti
    May 24, 2021 at 6:48 am

    Hope you can make it back here soon. Take care 💜💕

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Christine Bolton, Poetry for Healing
    January 19, 2021 at 11:32 pm

    PS Congratulations on your published work! Wonderful ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. Christine Bolton, Poetry for Healing
    January 19, 2021 at 11:31 pm

    My dear Darnell, I am so happy to hear from you although I am saddened at your news. I am wishing you help and comfort while you care for your dad. Thanks goodness you finally received some assistance and what a great friend you have too. Know that we are all here to happily read your wonderful writing whenever you can share it with us. Please take care my friend of you and your dad.
    Warm wishes,
    Christine ☺️💕

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. Invisibly Me
    January 18, 2021 at 12:16 pm

    Oh my goodness, Darnell, I’m so sorry. You’ve had a heck of a lot on your plate to deal with. While I’m sure you see it as I do in it being an honour to be able to be there to help your dad, it’s also a lot to juggle alongside two jobs and the regular day to day things in your life. I think you’ve done amazingly well. And I can see why you’d want to avoid your dad going into a care home, now of all times. I’m sorry for everything your dad has had to go through and that he’s lost so much independence. It’s good news he can get hospice care at home, and I really hope that goes as smoothly as possible. I’ll keep my fingers crossed there’s some financial support he’s eligible for too. I would have hoped you could get some kind of carer’s allowance to ease a little pressure too.

    I wish I could do something, Darnell. Please know we’re all thinking of you and your dad. We’ll all be here whenever you want to blog, even if it’s not to write as you used to. Sending my very best wishes  ♥

    Caz xx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. Ngozi Awa
    January 15, 2021 at 3:16 am

    Well done Darnell! I wish your dad good health. Take care of yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  7. Chris Hall
    January 15, 2021 at 1:51 am

    I was only just thinking about you, Darnell. Thanks for letting us know what’s happening. I know how tough this is. You can only do what you can and lean on the support you’ve managed to get. We took my almost 90 year old dad to a nursing home after two week’s home care after he’d been suddenly diagnosed with leukemia. He passed that night and I wasn’t there. I still regret that, but we had no idea he would slip away so soon.
    Take care. Look after yourself as well as your dad. You are a wonderful son.
    Chris x

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. Greg Dennison
    January 14, 2021 at 11:41 pm

    Thanks for keeping us posted. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. Claudia Blood
    January 14, 2021 at 11:15 pm

    Take care, Darnell!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Darnell Cureton
      January 14, 2021 at 11:44 pm

      Thanks Claudia. Waiting for your novel to be released to take my mind off things. It will be be a good read.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  10. Sam "Goldie" Kirk
    January 14, 2021 at 9:55 pm

    I’ve been through something similar. It’s tough. I’m sorry to hear this is your current situation. Thanks for checking in with us. Wishing you a lot of strength. Stay golden!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Darnell Cureton
      January 14, 2021 at 10:32 pm

      Thanks Sam. I wanted to share why I ghosted. I think I commented to you once that I’d never stop posting. I guess circumstances can change for anyone.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Sam "Goldie" Kirk
        January 15, 2021 at 10:53 am

        Trust me – I understand. Been there, done that. You do what you have to do and we will be patiently waiting.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. annieasksyou
    January 14, 2021 at 9:53 pm

    Darnell,

    Thanks for checking in; I have been thinking of you. This is such a tough time: caregiving is a terrible strain—trying to do it while holding down two jobs sounds incredibly difficult.

    Your love of writing will return. I know you’re following your heart and giving your dad the loving care he needs. Take as good care of yourself as you can. My thoughts are with you both.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. Mama Cormier
    January 14, 2021 at 7:09 pm

    I just went through a very similar situation. Your father sounds like my Dad. He turned 94 last October and was pretty independent but he lived with us in his own apartment. His hearing was very bad, he had swelling of his legs and he had congestive heart failure. Three weeks before his birthday he had a bad fall and broke his collarbone. The hospital organized a nurse to come and see him twice a week and he continued to shop and cook for himself. A week after his birthday the swelling became so bad that it started to affect his whole body. I took him to the hospital because he wanted to ‘get fixed’. They managed to reduce the swelling in his legs but the stress was too much for his kidneys and his heart. On the third day he quietly passed. Despite COVID I was allowed to be with him for his final days. None of us, including my Dad thought that this would be be the end for him. I only wish that if your Dad has no hope of recovery that he go quickly and quietly like my Dad did. I miss him every day but he went the way he wanted…..in his sleep.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Darnell Cureton
      January 14, 2021 at 9:26 pm

      That does describe my dad, but in his case he doesn’t want to go to the hospital. He seldom tells what’s wrong so a trip to the hospital involves a lot of invasive testing he calls hell. When he does pass, I hope it’s not painfully long on both of us. I appreciate your thoughts.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  13. giftedandchilling
    January 14, 2021 at 5:13 pm

    I hope that you do achieve your goal of avoiding the nursing home 💕 Will keep you and your Dad in my prayers. Sending love and well-wishes your way. Stay safe and looking forward to reading your writing again 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  14. stoner on a rollercoaster
    January 14, 2021 at 4:14 pm

    Hope things get easier for you. I know it’s really hard to care for ailing parent and it must have taken a huge toll on you but in future when you look back at how you were there for your dad, it’s doing to be so rewarding and satisfactory.

    Sending you hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. Nova
    January 14, 2021 at 3:34 pm

    Stay healthy and know you’re not alone!

    Like

    Reply

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