You’re Getting Noticed

This social media story had me pondering 🤔what should you do when the thing you love about online content changes to something that takes the joy away from it? Lets see how Brenda handles ‘getting noticed.’

Brenda, a devoted TikTok advocate, took her laptop outside to test if she could watch some of the silliest but not harmful challenges from her front porch. Maya, a teenage neighbor and friend, checked her network’s internet speed.

“You can run a speed test yourself by clicking on Ookla from your browser.”

“What’s Ookla?”Brenda asked.

“It’s a broadband speed test for your network. I suggest testing it at different times, such as in the morning and in the evening. If the network is slow, I’d call your ISP and ask for a credit or make them boost your speed up to at least 300 Mbps.”

Brenda’s eyes glazed over as she looked transfixed at the laptop’s open webpage. Maya picked up on the brain fog.

“All I’m saying is make sure the arrow checking the network signal stays in the green area, right here.” Maya pointed to the website. “As long as you stay in the green, you won’t have any problems watching TikTok on the porch,” the teen assured.

“Thank you, Maya. I don’t understand all this ISP stuff, but I can check for the arrow,” she agreed as she noticed another neighbor, a man named Julian, watching her from his third-floor window. He was wearing white underwear and jumped away into hiding when he saw her looking in his direction. 

Brenda hoped 15-year-old Maya didn’t notice him. ‘I’ll have a little chat with him when I get time,’ she thought.

“You’re welcome, Miss Brenda. If you need my help again, just ask,” Maya added before walking away with a group of girls her age.

Brenda sat comfortably on her front porch when the thought of her neighbor standing in front of the window, partially undressed, crossed her mind again. She decided to let Google help with an ethical way to confront him. She meant to type in the Google search box ‘how to tell a neighbor not to stand by the window in underwear.’  

Instead, she typed in the ‘Post’ box of her Blog the entire saga of how she lost patience with her Wi-Fi service, then had a teen install Oogle as she saw a neighbor in white underwear jump back from the front of a window. She hit ‘Publish,’ then went back to watching TikTok when no results came back.

The Stats 24 Hours Later:

Views on ‘Brenda’s Quick n Dirty Tips Blog’ – 14 Million

Likes – 450,000

Comments – 8,000

Subscribers – 4.3 Million

An automated e-mail from Brenda’s blog left a message after analyzing her statistics:

‘Congratulations! Your blog is getting noticed!‘

Maya, who helped as an Admin setting up Brenda’s blog, saw the overnight change. She quickly ran over to Brenda’s home, ringing the bell frantically.

“Miss Brenda! Miss Brenda! Your blog page! It’s gone viral!”

After Maya spent an hour explaining what ‘viral’ was, Brenda was still bewildered.

“But I only had 3 new subscribers last week. Me, you, and some guy called @PantyFreak, who thought the title of my blog ‘quick and dirty’ was some sort of a naughty thing,” she said. It means get accurate answers fast or do important tasks first. By the way, Quick and Dirty Tips was popularized by a gal named Mignon Fogarty, creator of the Grammar Girl podcast. That’s how I got the name of my blog, Brenda explained.

“Well anyway, viewers turned your post yesterday into a TikTok challenge. They call it the Tighty Whitie Challenge. The way it works is you have to stand in front of a window in underwear while jumping left and right as your Wi-Fi router boots up. You win the challenge if the camera outside your window doesn’t film you in your shorts!” she revealed.  

“I think it’s funny watching guys do the challenge. They lose most of the time. I wonder if that’s on purpose?” Maya wondered. Girls do it too, but they blur out the boobs.”

Brenda gasped. “You watched this on TikTok? I thought that channel was for grown-ups?” Brenda questioned the teen.  

“It’s for anyone who likes social media, but you have to be at least 13. That’s why I have my own account. If I were you, I’d capture your new audience through ad revenue and sell merch like white underwear. You should monetize ‘quick and dirty’ while the post is viral. It’s the easiest way to make money.”

Brenda was perplexed. When did posting about Sunday dinner, or church bingo night, turn into teens jumping around in underwear?

“Miss Brenda, I know this is a lot for you, but I can help you with Google Analytics. I use a plugin called Jetpack to keep stats. You can do the same as traffic increases on your blog.”

As Maya talked, Brenda thought about her blog before the viral event. She remembered the brownie recipe that received 5 views and 1 like. Another favorite post was a picture of her neighbors’ adopted purebred Pug. She had 22 views and 8 likes for that one.

Brenda interrupted Maya with a wave of her hand.

“After I block @PantyFreak among the 14 million others, how do I un-viral myself?” she asked bluntly.

“Well, if you don’t publish anything else, the algorithm bots will stop analyzing the SEO keywords in your post for AI learning.

Brenda’s jaw dropped, but she managed to speak up.

“I don’t have any SEX keywords on my page!” Brenda protested vehemently. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell @PantyFreak when he subscribed to my page!” she complained. “It was his name that bothered me more than anything else, truth be told.”

“No, not SEX words,” Maya snickered. “S E O words. It means Search Engine Optimization.”  

Brenda was exasperated and mentally drained. She made a decision on the spot not to post anymore on her Blog and delete the account. She had a better idea, a better notion.

“You know what Maya?” Brenda explained enthusiastically.

I think I’ll post on my YouTube channel from now on. This kind of viral whatnot can’t happen there…

End

A/N: Annie gave me the idea for this story. See her informative website here. I’ll see you later with another Social Media Story.